a gift

(well...it's official I'm awful at posting. especially when the last blog anticipated another post soon after...sorry for those who read this regularly)

there is just one story to be shared that depicts a beautiful illustration of grace. it happened last saturday night when i attended a launching party for a new christian company (another blog to explain "Halle Joy"). anyways, we were learning more about our role, responsibilities, and the logistics of it all. somewhat overwhelming, but altogether exciting. many emotions were felt that evening that in the end i began to cry. expressing this emotion rarely comes when in public, but at times it's good to cry. being completely real even though many people are wondering why someone is so upset about an exciting event. :)

that night i had to make a commitment and either be in or out. i was going back and forth weighing out the pros and cons. i knew this opportunity would only come once, but wasn't certain on how i could pull it off and make it work when i don't have a clue how to do it. however, through the tear filled eyes i knew i needed to take the step. doing this would take courage, boldness, faith, trust, dependability, and obedience. i was on the fence between comfortable and uncomfortable. the problem with that is...the fence. trying to be on both sides. not fully on one or the other. i had to make a choice.

and in faith i stepped. believing some how, some way my Lord would provide. i was believing that He would equip me for this. i didn't have the attributes, character qualities, or giftings as others did thus i was feeling even more inadequate. i didn't know how i would pull this off or how to even begin. and in that moment i felt the Lord say.."you don't know how to do this, but I do. Don't you trust me? Don't you believe that I will make a way for you? All you have to do is believe me!" I had to trust Him more then my feelings. more then what i could see with my eyes. I had to believe. I had to obey. I had to step outside my comfort zone. depending on Him wholeheartedly with every breath. the story of Abraham came to mind when the Lord asked him to go to this land that I will show you, even though you don't know where to go (Heb. 11:8). I'm sure Abraham felt similar emotions, but then again He obeyed and went.

as the night came to an end, God came through for me. He came through in ways that I can't quite describe on a blog. he provided a way for all of this to be possible. he took care of the finances that i was so worried about. he gave me a gift (paid in full...debt free). that i did not deserve. it was by His grace alone that i am where i am today. He is paving the path. this new opportunity has been given FROM Him and it is truly FOR Him. i firmly believe that God does not call the equipped, but He equips the called.

just as the brandon heath song says.."Don't get comfortable. I am going to move this mountain and then I am going to move you through." that is just what the Lord did that night.


as i experienced this act of grace from a family friend...it hit me even heavier because i was reminded of the gift of grace through the cross of Jesus Christ. we don't deserve to be saved, but God so desired us to be. He gave His only son for us. as a gift. to atone for our sins. our life is paid in full. debt free. what a mighty God we have who watches over all of us. who takes care of our every need. and who loves us unconditionally. HE IS JEHOVAH-JIREH!