sweetness in the sorrow

it's amazing to me how quickly the holidays have come so fast. each day i am reminded of the season i am in. with the music on the radio. houses decorated with all the christmas sparkle. and the crisp cool air (well when we have the cold fronts) but all in all, the holidays have been in full swing since thanksgiving.

this year is particularly different for me than the last. every morning i am reminded of "what we did last year" for this year and every year, in fact, is always a little different than the past one. whether i'm celebrating with a different family, different place, or the feeling of the holidays changes. every year is different in it's own unique way.

my mind, heart, emotions, thoughts have been overwhelmed lately as the days continue. and with the added tragedy of newtown, ct..i am a mess. the aching. the hurt. the loss. the sorrow. the deep pain. the reality of never seeing your loved one again. it's something that will stay with you. and you will always be reminded of that person not with you, whether it's the holidays, events, birthdays, or celebrations you have longed to have them with you for. the longing for them remains.

in the midst of the ache and pain, i find myself wishing someone knew my loss. even though my siblings understand the same loss i do, still each sibling has grieved differently. our relationship with my dad was unique and special. we each have our own memories and favorite moments with dad. so it's hard for each of us to know the others pain. it's hard to explain it to my friends and those close to me. it's in those moments that i feel the loneliest. yet i realize there is One who knows. there is One who understands. there is One who says, "I know your pain. I know your sorrow. I know your loss. I know your thoughts, feelings, emotions, and I hold your tears. I am strong for you. I will uphold you. I will carry you. I alone will heal you. I am the One you need the most. You are not alone. And I am waiting for you to come to me. Come and rest in my loving arms."  

"Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, 

and He will dwell with them, 

and they shall be His people. 

God Himself will be with them and be their God. 

And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; 

there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying.

 There will be no more pain, 

for the former things have passed away." 

Revelation 21:3-4

and so as we enter this last week until christmas, i am extremely thankful for the most anticipated gift God could ever give us. the gift of His son. and through His son came so much more than i could fathom. the One who is my Hope when i feel hopeless. the One who is my Light in the darkness. the One who Heals. the One who has Redeemed me. the One who restores and makes all things new. the One who loves me thoroughly and completely. the One who always waits for me to return to Him. and loves me still.

thus in the midst of sorrow, i find Hope in the One who came for me. and who came for you. He is the gift that deserves to be praised, honored, and celebrated this season.

how vast and great is His love for me...(Eph 2:4-10)

"For unto us a Child is born, Unto us a Son is given;

And the government will be upon His shoulder.

And His will be called Wonderful, Counselor,

Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."

Isaiah 9:6

Finally an update...with pictures!!

I have slacked big time with my updates. I have not been able to give time to updating my blog as I should be doing, so I'm going to give you a recap using pictures. I think it's just more fun to see what I have been doing anyways. I don't have every event covered but I have been trying to capture many different things. One thing I can say is that it is been so rich and full of friends, laughter, smiles, and fun! Enjoy! :) 

OCTOBER FUN!

Spent a fun weekend at home in October with my mom

Jordan came with me to meet some more family members!

Raylee turned 10 years old October 11 

so I had a yogurt date with this sweet niece of mine!

My friend Erin got married October 26th so 

I took a fun trip to Arkansas to celebrate & 

see some of my precious friends!

One of my best friends Stephanie! Loved getting time with her!

During my layover in Atlanta, my dear friend 

Sarah came to airport to spend 2 hours with me!

 It was the best surprise to a great weekend!

Jordan and I got to attend a Golf Tournament during October. It was beautiful!

Our Fall Picture! 

Huge Pumpkin at the hotel where the golf tournament was held

NOVEMBER!!

I got to return to Waco for Baylor Homecoming! 

I had a blast seeing my old roommates & lots of friends!

Sic'em Bears!

My cousin, Katie, is a Chi Omega Baylor!

I also got to see one of my old small group girls and now a sweet friend.

Jordan and I walked around Baylor

On a beautiful Sunday afternoon we went paddle boarding on the comal river!

During November, New Braunfels has a huge event called Wurstfest! It is a week long German festival. Mom came down to experience it. We had a blast eating lots of food and listening to some great music!

Jordan and I at Wurstfest listening to the Alex Meixnex Band..he was by far the best Accordion-polka-rocker I've heard!

It's Thanksgiving week, which is still hard for me to believe that it's already here! This time last year I was on the other side of the world. It's amazing where God can bring you in a year! Can't wait to see where I'm at a year from now! :) My mom is coming down to New Braunfels to spend Thanksgiving with my sister's family and I. We are all looking forward to the break from school! Happy Thanksgiving everyone! There is sure a lot to be Thankful for this year!

an abundant life!

...one that is completely and utterly full of some many things. where your cup is not just half full, but spilling over more and more

the word abundant--abundantly--abundance have been a common theme lately. it's a great description of my heart being abundantly full, satisfied, and overwhelmed with God's goodness through this season.

 ~ a-bun-dant ~ 

to be in great quanitity, more than adequate; to overflow; 

well or richly supplied; in plenty; 

overflowing fullness...abundance of the heart

Colossians 2:6-7

"As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, as you have been taught, abounding in it with thanksgiving."

John 10:10
"I [Jesus] have come that they may have life and that they may have it more abundantly."

Psalm 36:5-9

"Your mercy, O Lord, is in the heavens; Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds. Your righteousness is like the great mountians; Your judgements are a great deep; O Lord, You preserve man and beast. 

How precious is Your loving-kindness, O God! Therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of Your wings. They are abundantly satisfied with the fullness of Your house and you give them drink from the river of your pleasures. For with You is the fountain of life; in Your light we see light."

>a few words from AW Tozer's, The Pursuit of God...

"God made us for Himself -- to glorify God and enjoy Him forever -- to see Him and live with Him and draw our life from His smile -- He moves us to return [to Him]."

"He waits to show Himself in ravishing fullness to the humble of soul and the pure in heart.."


Lord, my cup runeth over with gratitude, love, and thankfulness for the gifts you have given! Amen and Amen, and Amen again!

"Always be full of joy in the Lord. 
I say it again—rejoice! 

 Let everyone see that you are 
considerate in all you do." 

Phil 4:4-5 NLT

the sweetness of a new season has refreshed my heart and soul. i am so undeserving of the many blessings the Lord has graciously given. He has moved and stirred my affections for Him in more ways than i imagined. and it's not because of what He has done for me or the blessings He has given. my affections are stirred because of who He is to me. He has shown Himself as my Father, my Shepherd, my Joy, my source of life, my Protector, my Leader, my Refuge, my Hope, my Strength, my Guide, my every step, One in whom i can fully Trust...and so much more!

sometimes change can be difficult for me. it can pull, pry, refine, shape, draw up anxiety or frustrate me. it's natural and normal to feel that way. but this time it's different...yes, i did just get back from uganda 7 weeks ago. yes i did just pack up and move to new braunfels, texas 2 weeks into arriving in the states. yes, i did just start a new job and i've been running 100miles an hour since. yes, life is crazy to say the least but i have had such a blast! i can't believe how much fun i have had thus far. :)

i absolutely love what i get to do. being on campus as a librarian as well as being on the court and coaching a sport i love. it's a dream job really. in addition to work, i have been spoiled with the friendships i have made so far. at times it's hard for me meeting new people but God has blessed my socks off.  i have loved and thoroughly enjoy being around them! and at the end of the day...i stand in awe. not at the tangible things God has done. but the unseen things -- the way He comforts my spirit-- the way He knows my heart -- the way he establishes conversations that are challenging and uplifting -- the way He takes care of a weary soul like mine. He knows what i need. so i rest in that. i rest in the fact that my security is found in Him. i rest in His sweetness and in His love. and i embrace this season with open arms and refreshed soul!

~thank you Jesus for leading me and showing yourself more beautifully than ever!

"Do not be anxious about anything, 
but in every situation, 

by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, 
present your requests to God. 

And the peace of God, 
which transcends all understanding, 

will guard your hearts 
and your minds in Christ Jesus." 

Phil 4:6-7 NIV